the only way to kill it dead is to revere it too much
the reason i take this quote everywhere with me is because it makes sense right now, it connects with the state i am – in. a.k.a. the state of despair, of wanting to give up, of trying to understand what to do with all these feelings i have for an specific someone. but it also makes sense for understanding my relationship with anyone, with the world, with myself, with my brother. i want to be in touch with all the aspects of everything i am going through until i consider myself ridiculous.
the only way to put it to rest, to comprehend, to process, to let go, to cherish it, to protect it, to save it, to guard it, to keep it in my heart for what it is (and not what i wanted to be or what i thought it was) is: by revering it too much. and what is that?
verb (used with object), re·vered, re·ver·ing.
to regard with respect tinged with awe; venerate
to be in awe of and respect deeply;
to stand in awe of, fear, feel reverence
synonyms: reverence, honor, adore.
and this is exactly what i want to do with everything in life, especially my feelings right now. i want to exhaust myself, to absorb every drop of possibility – some here, some privately; i want to read every quote and think of you; i want to write all the poems i still have inside me; i want to ask myself all the questions; i want to play and write songs; i want to make playlists; i want to draw what you made me feel and write what i wanted to say to you; i will have all the conversations in my mind that i want to have; i will watch that movie just because it reminds me of you; i will express my anger for what wasn’t, in any way i can; i will talk about you to friends until they tell me to shut up; i will lose sleep if i have to; i will interpret the dreams with you; the creation is endless.
i will revere it so much, until it’s too much.