amid the dust that covers my sealed lips; in the light that gets to the eyes through the grey blinds; when the thought is louder than the voices; getting past the chills down the spine and all the doubtful choices;
that’s when i miss them the most; when i try to remember the bad and the good, but all i get is past echoes of i love you’s. there was easiness then; i wish i had danced more and again and again. right before my eyes, it started to crumble, the talks that i once wrote quotes from were now little scars i could never overcome. who’s to say my greatest flaw is when away my memory goes. there are whispers louder than screams.
up all night i stayed; picturing a different fate; decisions that wouldn’t make me feel like i was unkind; i’ve been a mess for quite some time. all along what i couldn’t stop thinking is please, please meet me halfway. i repeated, half-choking, half-sobbing, “there is always a way”.
i can’t rhyme properly, and i question very often. there is something lost & beyond. i don’t blame but i wish there wasn’t also shame. what else is mine to claim? never again – to compare little spots to stars and know exactly where to find them; even though i can’t observe the constellation, sometimes inside i still sing an anthem, somehow somewhere I can still reach that sensation. part of me doubts it will ever stop calling, although whenever it starts howling, my knees buckle and i take that as a warning. sorrow continues crying.
listening while writing: Rilo Kiley – Papillon