There was never an instance when love was the wrong choice. However, love may not LOOK like love. Maybe love required saying “No.” Maybe it entailed letting go or a painful change. Sometimes, it can resemble abandonment. In fact, in many instances, it can look uncaring or detached. That’s because it’s not smothering but, rather, contains space for growth. Most often, it meant my wishes were pushed aside. One thing which seems to be a common denominator is it calls for a big picture view, which, of course, makes my issues in the situation very tiny and unremarkable. But, it is far from sacrificial. Turns out, big picture love revises your perspective of what’s important in your personal life. I call it Big Love. Big Love feels expansive, grounded, and connected to something substantial – what I call God, but has many names. In Big Love, I am but a conduit to transport the energy of Love to another. What a relief. I don’t have to manufacture anything, don’t have to be anything other than willing. In fact, this Big Love stuff works better if I’m empty. Empty of my manufactured wants, my list of “shoulds,” my vision of what is best for everyone (especially me). Empty of my little love.
What is little love? It’s the so-called love in which I am the center, in which everything relates to how I feel, and how I am affected by another’s actions or words. It can be transitory, based on my mood, feelings, even my physicality. Little love is all about me. Little love drives me nuts. When I’m in that space, I’m sitting on a roller coaster, thrilled with the anticipation of the ups, and slightly nauseated with the downs. Within an hour I can declare life to be the most amazing adventure ever and plummet to despair, all based on whatever emotion is in control at the time. From what I understand, this “all about me” attitude or belief is a phase out of which we all are jolted at some time in our lives. Or, at least, we hope we are. Otherwise, life becomes a stressful scavenger hunt for an elusive sense of happiness, love and peace. It’s not until we release this “all about me” philosophy that we become free. And, then, we are able to take deep breaths, relax into what shows up, trust that we are not required to know the answers, and empty ourselves of expectations. With this newly excavated space, we are open to receive and distribute love.
However, holding “Big Love” as an everyday life strategy is a challenge. To teach myself to keep this philosophy in the forefront of my mind is like taming a hummingbird. But, that doesn’t upset me. This seed thought is growing at its own pace – with the help of fertilizer. Everyday, two words appear to gently urge this seedling to bloom and me toward a new way of being in the world: Choose love.
listening while reading: Gateway Drugs – Give Me Your Love