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I am starting to realize how much painting is a metaphor for what I am searching in life.

My first class where I mixed the primary colors in order to get different ones was an unforgettable experience. I connected with my inner child, I forgot all my problems, I forgot who I was. All that mattered was living that exact moment. That sort of communication with yourself is rare. I am grateful it happened and I want to continue with this activity, even when there’s a voice saying that I don’t have what it takes to do something really good.

I want to throw the concept of “good enough” out of the window. I just want to feel again the same excitement I had in that first class. And for that I must continue doing art and being honest to who I am.

Bringing that to all the things I am going through, I take the color mixing to relationships I want to cherish: the ones where I am, let’s say, cyan, and the other person is magenta. I can’t accomplish magenta, nor do I want to – I am happy being cyan. But when we mix, when there’s a sincere and balanced exchange, we accomplish blue. Blue cannot come to life unless both cyan and magenta are added equally.

For them to give life to blue, a completely new and original color, there must be: communication, trust, kindness. They are whole when separated, but they can also become a entire something else when uniting.

listening while writing: Ray LaMontagne – Supernova

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